Today's entry in both Standard and Librarian English.

I made it to Chicago! Then I made it to Boston! Coming from blustery Colorado (Blustery, AC'd Colorado...), the effect is roughly equivalent to falling into a pit of lava, slowly burning to death and going to an especially nasty part of Hell where they stick all the people who used to live in really cold areas (they crank the temperature, of COURSE, because they're mad bastards and they don't care WHAT you think is proper temperature - quite like dorm roommates but with horns).

Boston. Loathe it or leave it.

I was especially impressed with not only the almost heroic employment of cruel and unusual traffic patterns, but the Jyiis-car navagation throughout these. Jyiis (who is going to read this, I know, because I'm sitting on her bed and typing it from her computer) is the rebellious daredevil teenage incarnation of the Little Old Lady from Pasadena. She takes the convoluted Bostoninianitegian road system like Jeff Gordon on speed. She has a crippling fascination with shiny things, orange things and things on fire. She wears punk bondage gear (J-Note: You SO do, spikey-arse. XD Spikes here! Spikes there! Prolly spikey underwear!¹). She can do...stuff. It defies explanation, but fortunately, she'll be able to defy defying explaining herself when she eventually gets arrested. Don't worry, I'll send you some cookies or something.

Seriously, I don't understand how she does it. She's got MAD DRIVING SKILLZ or something. Most likely with bells on - or maybe just spiked punk gear on. I must say, I prefer bells.

DESPERATELY MISSING CURRY.

The Jyiis doesn't like Father Ted. It's hard to believe, but then, I had trouble getting into it myself, and, well, I haven't a bloody CLUE what The Jyiis likes anyway. ^.^

The really SAD thing about going online on Jyiis's computer is, you can be pretty damn sure that she's not gonna sign on. XD

The really HAPPY thing about going online on Jyiis's computer is, when you sign off, you can go to the window and see the Jyiis modelling swimsuits. XD She's got a good shape on her, that gel. ^.-

(Let's see if she can find the hidden camera I planted in her room)

~Ayrn

With BELLS on. Sexy bells. Shiny bells. Bells of assorted shapes and sizes that light up or make noise or go on fire or explode for no other reason than to entertain, because it would be DAMN entertaining to watch bells exploding. Especially when attatched to the Ayrn.⁵

¹ Except I rummaged in her underpants drawer and found nothing physically offensive, save for a brassiere that was in an especially defensive mood. There were plenty of incredibly silky black frilly things, though, and for some inexplicable reason, an electric toothbrush, a chicken, and a small goat beanie.²

² This may well be true, but I didn't actually peek in the drawer, so I'm just talkin' shite and taking the piss out of Mel. XD³

³ This is a very good time to scratch that photo CD so Mel will never be able to gather the incriminating evidence of my posing pics from Scotland. I can't BELIEVE I still had those. Thank God she didn't find the one where it was a hot day...⁴

⁴ There have been many tales of the Great White Whale, and all of them are true but for a few minor embellishments. The whale is named Ayrn, -nobody- devoted their life to obsessively chasing him down (especially with a harpoon), and he never ate anybody (I bite but never chew). It goes without saying that he is most assuredly a Dick, though.