Fish. Pisceity. The aquatic population majority. Fish are our ancestors, or something. I don't fully understand why, as they seem to be rather wet and slimy, and most of my relatives are rather dry. Several of them are slimy, though, so I suppose there is some level of family resemblance.

Gills are extraordinarily useful. I wish I had some. I could breathe underwater. Move aside, Jacques Cousteau! Well, he did, really. Sad. I wonder if they buried him at sea? He might have liked that, unless you live in your body after death or something and bits of him get spread to the oceans of the world until all water on Earth is part of the Ex-Jacques Cousteau's collective gestalt sentience. That would be creepy. Just remember every time you drink a glass of water, you drink a little Jacques Cousteau...

It must be terribly hard to be a cop. You have to look cool ALL the time. The uniform helps, sure, but a lot of that coolness comes from within. I just don't think I could be that cool...

They don't let me back in coffeeshops anymore.