I want to ride my bicycle.

This is not just because the song by Queen of the same name is playing, this is because I well and truly do have genuine interest in mounting my mighty steed (my rust charger) and sallying forth across the fair land of Gunnison to rescue maidens not-even-remotely-fair and like-hell-they're-virgins from the clutches of horrible dragons. Or probably the other way around, really. It's usually the poor dragons that are held captive by the domineering dominatrixes.

I have never typed the plural of dominatrix before. Weird. With my lifestyle, you'd think I'd have done it at some point. I suppose the very nature of dominatrixism defies a shared ownership scheme. I wouldn't know though, being sexually incapable of being a dominatrix.

Did any feminists think of that? There are so many professions that are just plain not open to men. What the hell? Nursing? Kindergarten Teaching? Air hostessing? Dressmaking? You're laughed at if you're a man in a female's job, unless you're gay, in which case you are confided in by females and feared by heterosexual men (as you would represent the epitome of male insecurity, which is "Oh shit, I might fancy someone with a penis"). If you are a woman in a man's job, you are repressed, but you are cheered on, because you're doing it for the girls.

I also want to mention at this point, now that I'm bitterly bitching about women, that it's pretty sick how lesser women will entertain their insecurities by going out with even lesser men, then huddle in tight groups in coffeeshops to talk about how horrible and worthless their men are to be complimented on how wonderful they are for putting up with the atrocities they endlessly embellish upon. They then halfheartedly lament on how there are no good guys left in the world.

I am a good guy.

You may not believe this, especially if you used to go out with me. That's perfectly understandable, because if we were perfect for one another, we wouldn't be casually directing spiteful feelings toward each other. My past aside, however, I AM a nice guy, and yet I am ignored or beaten down at every possiblity for being what every women wants: something different than what they have.

Of course, I will continue to be single for the basic reason that there is one thing more important to women than everything else in the entire world: having something to bitch about.

And, well, if I fall for someone, I turn into an absolute klutzy-ass dick, but that's a minor factor.

~AYRN